I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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