i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
