I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
