TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
