What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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