Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They took my balls.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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