i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
