i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
