Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
