I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
