Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
