i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
