why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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