check it out our google latitudes are spooning
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
