Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My balls are so social today.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
