I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize