i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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