Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize