We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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