you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The uberlube is also flammable
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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