You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
