His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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