I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
