Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
