She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
