Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
