wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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