So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
