oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My vagina is officially offended.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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