Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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