I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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