sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
