that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize