Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
