question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
