I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
