Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
