Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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