Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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