Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
