my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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