Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
