You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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