ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
