Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
