i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
