I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
