its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
