Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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