my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
