I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
