so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You did what with his pubic hair?
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