I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
