Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize