You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize