I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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