feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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